In the event that I grow old and return to remember these, I will remind me, of which there is this bundle we never learned how to let go, then time eventually will lead you through and half of this bundle will be gone, to pieces.
Then, there is this bundle we refuse to let go, fearing how we will forget and let the things that meant the most to us fade, to nothing.
Then, there is this bundle we are all expecting, not knowing what comes next, but believing that the best is around the corner.
These bundles weighed a load and slowed dreams down, but with what seems to be the best thing I’ve heard, as of today, in this year and a half we share, ”I am already treating you like my wife, I will love you forever.” It didn’t slow down anything. It just kept me going.
In the event that I grow old and return to remember these, I will remind me, how that, just kept me going, how that, will bring me back here to remember these.
Every full moon, I picture a wolf sturdy and spirited. The moon now holds a significance, for your presence by the window every night, watching or waiting. You’re set free to somewhere, promising more warmth and love you’d ever receive, tagged and never returning. Yet we have been constantly hoping for you to be here with us, belonging to us.
But you’re just the wolf in the moon that we never held for long.
To want it so bad, it just slips right off your grip when you fail, yet achieving it just keep you going even though you’ve failed but this thing that gets in between wanting and achieving is failing. Either ways, we just have to keep on going.
The one who loves listening to you sing, who smiles as you walk towards him, the one who looks into your eyes while you speak, the one that writes and posts paragraphs and paragraphs of words to the world like you do, but about you. The one who shows his appreciation every now and then like how you do. The one who wants to be there every time. The one thanking for your presence in the world.
Isn’t here.
If keeping a promise is tough, fret not. Eventually one day everyone will leave you and the only promises you have to make is for yourself.
It is that moment that kept me believing. It was that dark believe in the night that everything shall be remembered but verbally forgotten which changed when the sun came and the waking to a soft subtle breath in the arms of someone that never before was thought to be around for a long time. To turn over and look at that person breathe, to watch that person sleep was the most amazing gift I have got in a morning and it is that which keeps me going on, keeps me believing. It is that in which I know the universe had given me the one person I have asked for and that it was my turn to act upon it and receive that gift. You were whom I asked for and I will keep you forever, Gerald.
